Professional athletes are few; countless are those who'd love to be one. In French Revolutions, hack cyclist Tim Moore rides the Tour de France, Lance Armstrong be damned. The salty, spirited Brit's hilarious travelogue charts 3,000 kilometers of biking through the desolate French countryside and up and down the forbidding slopes that make and break cycling champions.

After huffing and puffing his way up the first mountain, Moore rides himself into shape and eventually covers the course at about half the speed of the pros. This is by no means a minor accomplishment. Moore doesn't actually race the Tour de France -- he cycles the course in the weeks prior to the event -- but he does stress his 35-year-old body day in and day out, under a baking sun and in freezing rain, to the point of absolute exhaustion, and he conveys the sense of bonking with glorious aplomb. Looming in Moore's psyche is Tom Simpson, the British cycling champion who put forth such effort that he collapsed and died during the 1967 Tour.

To achieve authenticity, Moore goes so far as to grab an ephedrine rush from hay fever medication and relieve himself while riding, like racers do. It's a strange way to chase a dream, but given that he lacks the talent to race the Tour de France by conventional means, Moore gets props for making it his own. (Brenn Jones)